You may have noticed that the posts on the blog as of late have been pretty heavy in the food/recipe department.
To be completely honest, I’ve been writing a lot of those entries because they are easy and comforting to put together. I have to prepare 3 square meals for the kids each day – whether they eat what is made is another story – but, they do begin to whine quite a bit if I don’t feed them… so, I cook, maybe try a new recipe here and there and take some photos. Hopefully you have not minded too much.
Writing, like actual writing, has been hard the past few weeks. I’ve sat in front of the computer screen and tapped the same rhythmic beat with finger tips over and over. No words, just tapping along to a made up tune.
The kids and I traveled to DC last week to visit hubs- and you would think having HOURS on the train would allow the words to flow on paper with no distractions or interruptions. I did add a chapter to my novel – but that even felt like I was only getting the main outlying points down on paper. After that chapter, I put away my pen and read a book on writing. The irony.
I thought it might be burnout, but that isn’t it really. There are a ton of drafts started in files with great ideas, yet the words continue to sit there waiting to be pieced together to create their story. I’ve also been working on a new venture behind the scenes and although in the toddler stage, it is demanding my time much like a two year old.
We are in the home stretch of hub’s six month work assignment. The end is so close I can see it, yet it stretches out in front of me like the never ending hallway in a horror flick. I thought I could handle everything with ease…writing, work, house stuff, carting the kids, balancing the budget…etc.
But you know what?
I am so incredibly exhausted I can barely function. Life is moving along, but nothing is getting done at 100%…I would be lucky if it would top out at 40. I feel like I am living life on the periphery…like the chapter I wrote on the train. The candle has definitely been burning at both ends and it has caught up to me right smack dab in the middle.
I know I have been doing the best I can, but for some reason I feel like I am failing. At what, I have not the slightest.
So, I turned to what comforts me; food. Not so much the eating of food, but the creation of a dish. The process of gathering ingredients, following instructions, making something that smells good enough to beckon eager appetites to the kitchen to enjoy the results.
Food may continue to take center stage on the blog for a few more weeks. It allows me to feel like I am successful in remaining connected. Hopefully after hubs is home, I will fall back into a more stable routine of sharing fiction, crazy family antics and funny stories.
In the meantime, I hope you will come back to the blog hungry; hungry for good food and the return of good stories.