Pushing Pause

 

Sometimes I wish life came with a pause button. Not to stop big chunks of time, but to allow the little moments in the every day a chance to suspend just long enough to be absorbed fully and completely.

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I look through old photographs and smile at the moments gone by captured in an instant. Memories that flood back to the forefront. Days of patty-cake, snuggles and bedtime stories. Celebrations of growing another year older, visits from the Tooth Fairy and self hair cuts for the kindergarten alphabet play.

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Having fun being the big sister and playing princess to super heroes. Finding  friendships and navigating through the “terrible teens”, learning the art of defensive driving and the time in life when you begin to realize when you think you know everything, you actually know nothing.

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Our oldest will be off to college soon and the enormity is beginning to settle, making me stop and question did I do everything I could as a parent to help prepare you for this game called life? Did I read enough stories, give enough kisses, answer enough “why?” questions? Did I stop and appreciate all the little moments? Did I take the time to preserve as many memories as I possibly could knowing the brevity of time childhood possesses?

When holding a small hand once meant keeping her safe, I now reach for it to keep her close. I’m not ready to give up our every day conversations of how the day went or simply sharing our thoughts, nor am I ready to give up the constant arguments about things that won’t matter next week, because I know the quiet that is about to come will drive me more crazy. As heavy as it makes my heart feel,  I realize it is time to let go.

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I only wish I could push pause for just a moment.

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Well, looks as though I am back to writing….it’s been a lovely and much needed break. I have missed you my friends!

This week I’ve decided to ease back slowly. I will share this with Just Be Enough as the question is always nagging if I have done enough as a parent.

I will also link up for the very first time with Galit & Alison for Memories Captured and quite possibly with Shell for Pour Your Heart Out.

I guess I’m in a linky love kind of mood! :)

 


 

About Kelly Pugliano


Kelly is a lifelong foodie who shares her love of cooking, baking & writing about it on this blog. All recipes & photographs are made in her home kitchen or enjoyed during travels near & far. She has been featured on EverydayFamily.com, iBlog Magazine and Capital Region Living Magazine.

Comments

  1. says

    Pause … oh, yes I would love to just stop it all together some days.
    Did you ever see the movie CLICK? He has a remote control that allows him to fast forward thro life …
    and all we want is to pause xxx
    love you my friend, beautiful words!

    • says

      Yes! We have that movie…and it makes me cry!
      After college visits this weekend, I have been so very weepy. Would love a pause button.
      xoxo

  2. says

    After following you for weeks on IG, I finally clicked to your page only to find you on a break! I am so glad you’re back.

    I have young ones so reading this is almost like seeing the future for me. It makes me want to push pause as well, to soak in all the things I am sure I’ll miss once the raising of little ones has passed.

    Thank you. And welcome back.

    Thank you.

    • Kelly says

      Thank you for such a kind welcome back! :) Sorry to have been on break while you came for a visit…but glad you stopped by again.

      The time does go by so fast and I know how frustrating it can be at times…but…to say yes to the extra story or snuggles for just one more minute…even when one is DONE FOR THE DAY…so worth it. When they are standing taller than you and have grown into a “big person”, you will look back and be glad you obliged.

  3. says

    This is a great reminder for those of us who still have little ones, to hold on to these moments tighter. And to give as many hugs and kisses as humanly possible!! ;)

    xo Kelly, glad to see you writing…

    • Kelly says

      So nice to see you!! It’s true…can never give too many hugs and kisses!!!

      Thank you so much. It’s great to be back!
      xo

  4. says

    Welcome back!

    I would love a pause button. I was just looking at some older pictures last night and it amazes me how fast the time has flown by.

    • Kelly says

      Thanks Jackie! So good to be back…

      I know, right? Feels like yesterday putting them on the bus for kindergarten….now preparing for dorm life. It is BLOWING MY MIND!!

  5. says

    I was so happy to see your blog update in my inbox this morning. You’ve been missed!

    I could use that pause button this morning. Less “have to,” more snuggles.

    • Kelly says

      This made me smile! Thanks! I was not sure if it was even noticed that I was absent…. ;)

      Definitely a pause…those snuggles leave way before you are ready!

  6. says

    SOB! Every mother’s questions, I suppose. But you captured it beautifully. That pride mixed with a huge dose of NOT YET. You brought me to tears today, Kelly. Thanks so much for linking this beautiful piece to JBE.

    • Kelly says

      Oh, Missy! Thank you. I wrote through streaming tears yesterday with those exact feelings…pride and not yet! Even when reading back to my daughter I made it to the last paragraph before tears welled again!

    • Kelly says

      It really makes you stop and appreciate the small time you have left, doesn’t it?
      Oh, I will be by….we seem to be on the same page as of late.
      xoxo

  7. says

    As my youngest heads into his second year, and the oldest finishes up kindergarten, I *long* to pause for a while. We’ll just have to soak in all the moments and try to capture them as best we can, right?

  8. says

    I love this post. I don’t have kids. I’m a fur mom and our litter mate puppies are now 2 years old and every now and then I see the puppies that they were and I’m flooded with tons of happy memories. These memories have inspired us to be foster parents and help other dogs find their forever homes and it’s been an amazing experience.

    Kimberly

    • Kelly says

      What a great and important thing you are doing for dogs to find such happiness!
      I follow a woman who rescues dogs and their stories are so sad, but when she finds them, the outcome is always so much better.

  9. another jennifer says

    A pause button would be nice every now and then. I guess we just have to rely on ourselves to remember to take it all in as the memories are being created. This is a nice reminder.

  10. says

    Hi there. I’m visiting from Sits. I love this post, though it made me sort of sad. As a mom of a 9 month old, I can already feel how fleeting these precious times are. I keep telling myself not to mourn the loss of time, but to move forward with joy, knowing that I’m doing the best I can as a mother…(Good luck to your “baby” who is off to college!)

  11. says

    What a beautiful tribute to days gone by. When I look at my kids (13-21), I’m afraid I’m just glad to not have to buckle anyone in or change any diapers. I don’t miss those little moments so much.

    My daughter spent four months in Russia last year and it just about killed me. I feel your angst at letter yours go. Good luck!

    Stopping by from SITS.

  12. says

    I’ve been able to be right in the middle with my kids. I have a 13 year old going to high school next year.

    And I have a one year old. I still wish my 13 year old was still one but life goes on and its tough to let them go. I want to be around them all day, everyday but that’s just impossible – i know! If only…..

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